Mourning

I am in mourning today. Mourning the loss of my cousin, Sammy Jay. Ironically I am celebrating a life of a hero.

Sammy was born with Hyrocephalus...water on the brain. He was not suppose to live much past 6 or 7, however, he was in his sixties when he passed away on Friday. He was a totally selfless person and if ANYONE had a reason to pity himself and his life he is the perfect example. You see Sammy was born to an alcholic mother who was killed on a California highway after getting out of a car and stepping into traffic. He and his brother were orphaned at a very young age. He and his brother would have come to live with us, my parents and 3 children at the time, but my paternal grandmother protested. So guess what, they entered an orphanage in Dallas. I am a little foggy about their demise until Sammy and his brother were much older. I remember that Sammy attended high school, he even played in the band...the tuba, I think. He even attended his prom with a very pretty young girl. He then started suffering from seizures and I think at one time became a ward of the state. He has probably spent the better part of his life in a nursing home or other institution.

His brother...probably for the past 40 years has not been in contact or seen Sammy. I don't have a clue why. Could it be he has made a life for himself and didn't want the repsonsibilty of taking care of a dependent sibling or was he embarrassed by him...I don't know. He will have to answer for that and I will not judge him for that. You know what? Sammy never judged him for it, so why should I?

After my grandmother's death her cousin, John, took responsibilty for Sammy. Saw to all his needs and visited him when he could. When John got up in years he was no longer able to see to Sammy so my brother stepped in and took over seeing to his care. My brother has been a real brother to Sammy. He went to the nursing home most every week. He played Sammy's favorite game of dominos. Sammy beat him most of the time...or did he really? I visited Sammy once at the nursing home and have regrets that I didn't go again. Sammy would come and celebrate Christmas or other family get togethers on occasion. We loved him, but did we do enough...I don't know. This past Christmas my niece had Christmas at her house and my brother and his wife brought Sammy. We celebrated him not knowing it would be the last Christmas with him.

A little over 3 weeks ago Sammy suffered a seizure or maybe even a heart attack, I'm not sure. There wasn't a DNR (do not resuscitate) order and they brought him back from death. He stayed in ICU for a while and then he was moved to hospice. This place of death was ironically the most beautiful place he had ever lived in his life. My sister, her husband and myself visited him one Monday and he was a little responsive, but only guttural sounds came from his mouth. However, as we were leaving my sister and I leaned down to tell him we loved him and in a small voice he answered "I love you, too". I will never forget that. The next weekend both my sisters and I visited him and he was not responsive at all. I am so sorry that my younger sister only saw him in this condition, but this visit was so special. We prayed over Sammy. Celebrating his life and letting him go. Connie sang and it was so beautiful.

Sammy, you are whole. You are with those who went before, Mommy, Eric, Kathleen and all those that loved you. I know that Jesus personally escorted you directly to them. We will see you again. I love you.